6Count Turnabout
by Holly Unending
Summary: Some dastardly mind at the DA's office has plotted...a homecoming dance! Five days, five or more pairings and a whole lot of nonsense.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Countdown to homecoming! Every day a new PW pairing, so there will be five and then the dance itself. Suggestions are welcome as long as they don't contradict a pairing already made! So if there are only five days…why is it called an 6-count?! Well, because that's how you count off the waltz and also cuz it rhymes and thus is cool. –brick-

* * *

**Prologue : Not Edgeworth's Idea**

A flyer dropped onto Phoenix's desk, obscuring the case file he was trying to read. He swept it out of the way absentmindedly.

The flyer reappeared.

This time he gave it a stern glare before tossing it to the floor and trying to regain his concentration.

It was a very persistent flyer.

"Maya! I'm trying to work!"

"But Niiiiiick! Just look at it for one second, you'll love it."

"Why do I doubt that?" he sighed unhappily but turned his attention to the obnoxiously colored flyer. "District Attorney's office … Homecoming dance?!"

Maya danced around the side of his desk. "Yeah! Wouldn't if be fun it we-"

"J-just a minute," he cut in as he picked up the phone and punched in his childhood friend's work number. "Hey, Edgew-"

"I never authorized that flyer, I haven't the slightest idea who did, and_ NO_, I will not go to the dance with you!"

"…I…wasn't going to ask you."

"O-oh, Wright?" Edgeworth cleared his throat. "My apologies, the phone has been ringing off the hook this morning and my running tally says-" there was the sound of papers shifting "-seventy-eight of the calls were from the Oldbag woman."

"Man, Oldbag sure loves her Edgey-wedgey!"

"Maya, if you're trying to secretly listen in on the other line, it would work better if you didn't comment," Phoenix pointed out.

"Oh. Sorry."

"So, Edgeworth, how can we even have a homecoming dance? I mean…we don't have a football team."

"And I don't believe in Santa Claus, but that doesn't keep me from celebrating Christmas."

"Um, I'm not really sure how that's relevant, but-"

"Mr. Edgeworth!! You don't believe in Mr. Santa Claus?!"

"Maya! Please take Pearls off the other line!"

"How many phones do you _have_, Wright?!"

It took a few minutes to restore order, and Phoenix took the time to make a mental note that Edgeworth celebrated Christmas and could probably be coerced into pitching in for Pearls' present this year.

"So, you weren't the one who came up with this?" He asked after Maya had been dispatched to comfort Pearls and things seemed a bit quieter.

"Obviously not. Does this seem like something _I _would instigate?" Edgeworth sighed in frustration.

"Then I assume the disturbing color choice was…Gumshoe's?" He hazarded a guess. And a wince.

"Or Larry's, this has the stench of social ineptitude about it. However, Dr. Hotti has assured me that it should not be physically detrimental to anyone's health."

"Dr. Hotti, huh? Not exactly reassuring."

"And he didn't say anything about _mental_ health!"

"Maya, didn't I say-"

"Sorry, sorry!"

Silence. Finally, Phoenix sighed. "So- a dance, huh?"

"A dance," Edgeworth repeated with gloom.

"A dance!" Maya clapped her hands together (at least he assumed she clapped her hands, it would've been a little hard while holding the phone but that's what the noise sounded like).

Pearl gasped. "A-a-a-a-a hoe-em cum-ink dance?! Mr. Nick! Now's your chance to prove how much you really care for Mystic Maya!"

"Maya! I thought you got her off the other line!"

"Pearly! I-it's not like that!"

_Slap._

"H-hey, why'd you hit _me_?! And you didn't have to carry the phone all the way in here, we're right next to each other now!"

It took them quite a while to realize Edgeworth had hung up.


	2. It's Tuesday, Pal

**A/N:** Sorry to abuse Gumshoe. This was voted the number one pairing on court-records, by the way. Kind of surprised me, but it's cute. I know what I'm going to do for at least two of the other days now, but...it's a secret... -insert creepy Violetta laugh here- OMGTOMMOROWIMBETAINGSTARGATEWOOOOORLDS

* * *

**It's Tuesday, Pal**

Another day, another trial, another chance to point randomly and shout OBJECTION! Yes, for Phoenix Wright life was pretty good. And pretty confusing.  
"Detective Gumshoe, would you please testify as to the findings of your investigation?" Miles Edgeworth asked politely, which was probably something of an effort as Gumshoe had never made life easy for him before.

"No problem, pal!" Gumshoe enthused with all the energy of a puppy after a Red Bull. "See, it all started back when I was assigned to watch out for this bright young cadet. Chief said she had a bad streak of luck, but I sure took a liking to her and-"

"Detective, are you certain you're testifying about the _victim_, Nobe D. Kares?"

"Whoops, ha ha, sorry Mr. Edgeworth! My mistake!"

Phoenix looked at Maya in disbelief. "Was he testifying about _himself_?! That's quite a mix-up, even for Gumshoe." Maya tried to hold in a giggle.

"S-so," Gumshoe cleared his throat and continued, "the victim was stabbed twice, both times in the back. However, the depths of the wounds indicate two different weapons were used. He died of blood loss at… at…mumble mumble..."

"HOLD IT! Can you repeat that please, Detective?"

"OBJECTION! Just continue, Detective!" Edgeworth looked like he wanted to shoot someone. Preferably himself.

"OBJECTION! Edgeworth! The witness has testified and I demand to hear-"

"_Wright_." Edgeworth covered his mic. "He's been like this all day, I beg you not to encourage him."

"Aww…I can still hear you, you know, pal."

Phoenix covered his own mic. "He's been like _what_?"

"I can _still_ hear you…pal…"

"Like," Edgeworth gestured vaguely, "you know!"

"But I don't know. Otherwise my mic would be on and I wouldn't have to play charades with you! Seriously, I've never gotten charades."

"It's true," Maya chipped in. "I _always_ win."

"_PAL!! Now listen to me!!_" Gumshoe roared. Obediently, the entire courtroom went silent- partially because they really did want to hear what he had to say and partially because _his_ mic was still turned on and it takes time to recover from Gumshoe-induced temporary deafness. "I got up here on this stand today for one reason and one reason only! Maggey!! W-would you…would you please go to homecoming with me?"

Despite the uproar that followed, a single female voice could be heard shouting, "Y-you mean it, sir?" Phoenix and Maya's heads whipped around to search for their twice-upon-a-time client. The judge chortled. Edgeworth put his head in his hands.

Gumshoe lumbered off of the witness stand and into the audience, roaring, "Maggey? Maggey?!"

She popped out from behind a particularly grouchy old woman and gave him a teary-eyed salute. "S-sir yes sir! It would be my honor, sir!"

"I hope she can breathe in that hug, Nick," Maya said happily from where she was perched on his shoulders, craning to see the pair.

"Okay, get down now, you're way too heavy…" She slid reluctantly off onto the bench.

"Man, you never let me have any fun."

_Bang. Bang. _The judge pounded his gavel several times and shouted to be heard above the clamor.

"Mr. Wright, what do you have to say about all this? What about the victim?"

Phoenix thought about it for a moment, then rubbed at his spikes and grinned cheekily. "Well, just look at his name! Nobody cares!"

The judge nodded. "Very well. I declare the defendant…"

**IRRELEVANT**

"Y-your honor!"

"Oh ho ho, just kidding, just kidding. I couldn't help getting caught up in the spring-fling atmosphere today!"

_Whatever you meant to say, I'm pretty sure it wasn't that._

But because about half of the jury was gullible and left when the judge said the case was over, and the other half was too confused to even listen to further testimony, and besides Gumshoe wouldn't talk about anything other than Maggey, court was adjourned for the day. Thankfully.

* * *

Maya sat on the table at McSamurai Burgers, swinging her legs. She had insisted on getting a Happy Neomeal because it came with a limited edition collectible action figure that she was amassing a collection of. Phoenix called them Objecty Meals because not only were they (for some bizarre reason) more expensive than regular meals, but Maya's limited edition collectible action figures were amassing in his desk drawers and he was running out of room for other things. Things that he needed. Things like pens.

He sighed and wondered if he could sell a few on Ebay without her noticing. "Well, I guess that makes Gumshoe the first person to get a date to homecoming."

"Yup," Maya beamed and unwrapped her new action figure. "Woah! This is my fifty-fifth one from series three, and my fourth of Neo Amylase, and my first in the color purple with an ID code ending in a 6!"

Then again, maybe she _would _notice. Phoenix groaned.

"What's wrong, Nick?"

"Just…Gumshoe?! Is it a sign of the apocalypse that _Gumshoe_ was the first out of anyone?"

_Slap._ "H-hey, not you too, Maya!"

"You deserved it. Now eat up quick, okay? There's a Pink Princess marathon on tonight!"

"But what about this case…?"

"Finish it later! Burgers first!"

…

"But really, _Gumshoe?_"


	3. It's Wednesday, Fool

**A/N: **A thousand thousand apologies for being so late! Now I'm off to my own homecoming dance. Bleh. I suck at social stuff. -cries- Anyway, this one's for **SharadaGirl**, my first reviewer! Much love

* * *

**Don't you know that it's Wednesday? Only a foolishly foolish fool easily fooled by foolish foolery would foolishly think otherwise!**

Edgeworth cleared his throat and shuffled his papers into order. "The prosecution would like to call… Oh dear God."

"Very well. Has God been briefed on witness procedure, Mr. Edgeworth?"

"What? No no, Your Honor, it's just- I'm collaborating with Ms. Von Karma on this case and she's instructed me to call a rather…exasperating witness. The prosecution would like to call Larry Butz to the stand."

The orange-coated, goateed young man who took the stand was, sadly, a familiar face in the courtroom. "Hey, Edgey, what's up?"

"Don't call me that. State your name and occupation."

"Funny, you don't look like God," The judge puzzled.

"Your Honor, this is not God. This is Larry Butz, and he is an idiot."

"Hey! I'd rather be God!"

"You don't get a choice! Name and occupation!"

Larry grumbled something under his breath. "First, I'd like to show the court this drawing. Let me just tell you that it contains my heart and soul!!" He presented a huge canvas covered in ridiculous, nauseating scribbles.

It reminded Phoenix of Gumshoe's flyer for the dance and considered whether it was a bad omen and he should just run away now, until he realized Larry was waiting for someone to comment. "Wow, Larry, I'm…speechless. You've created a stunning background and an incredibly versatile arrangement of space."

"Meaning you're trying not to throw up, the background is so incomprehensible it stuns you, and you have no idea what it is." Maya whispered (correctly).

"Gee, thanks, Nick! It means a lot to hear you say that! But since this is a picture of me and my special someone dancing together, it would mean even more if my special someone appreciated it just as much, and even more if she agreed to go to homecoming with me!" He beamed proudly.

…

"A name, Larry. You have to give us a name," Phoenix groaned.

"Of course it's my one and only love Franziska Von K-"

"_The next person who is not creative enough to come up with a new way of proposing will be thrown into solitary confinement!_" Edgeworth burst out, slamming his hands down on the table and glaring out at the court like a frilly demon.

"No one's proposing, this is homec-" Phoenix quickly clapped a hand over Maya's mouth. "Whhmf mf duur dhat, Nhhhk?"

"If you make him mad, I think he'll eat your head!"

"…"

"Owowow!"

"_Why_ are you shouting, Wright?" He glared death rays at him.

"Because Maya _bit_ me! What are you, four?! Not you, Edgeworth, Maya…"

"You were suffocating me!"

_Crackcrackcrackcrackcrack!_

Yells of pain accompanied the string of whip cracks from the prosecution stand where Franziska had joined Edgeworth. "Listen to me, fools."

Everyone listened very intently. Even the people who did not think they were fools listened, because you would really have to be have to be a fool to disobey an angry German lady with a whip.

"First, Maya Fey. I cannot believe that you would honestly be so foolish as to bite your boyfriend," Phoenix clapped a hand over her mouth to keep her from objecting, probably saving her life in the process, "and I would thank you to maintain the dignity of this court in the future!

"Phoenix Wright. There is no need to yell like you are speaking to an elderly fool, we can all hear you!"

"What did she just say?" The judge cupped one hand around his ear.

"And Miles Edgeworth, you of all people should be more composed!"

"No, really, would someone please repeat what she just said?"

_Crack._ "Shut up, foo- Your Honor. Lastly, Larry Butz…you are the most foolishly foolish fool who ever practiced such tomfoolery as fools have fooled foolish fools with!"

"Did she just end that sentence in a preposition?" asked one of the jurors.

_Crack._ Problem solved, Franzy-style.

"Awwwriiiight! Was that a _yes_?!" Larry enthused.

Everyone was shocked when Franziska did not immediately shout out some sentence involving an unhealthful overdose of the word fool. Instead, she looked at Edgeworth.

He blinked- the Edgeworth version of a baffled shrug. "Think of it as target practice," he suggested.

"I do not need target practice, Miles Edgeworth!" _Crack._

"Hey hey hey, why am I everyone's scapegoat?! You've got Larry now, remember? _Larry!!_"

"My apologies, Phoenix Wright. For once, you are not completely incorrect."

"T-thanks a lot, Nick!" _Crack._ "Owowowowow, Franzy, there's no need for such violeeeeeence!"

"What, were you hoping she'd forget or something?"

"I forget nothing, Harry Butz! I hope you can remember that!"

"Larry…it's Larry. Not to be critical, but shouldn't you at least know the name of your date?"

_Crack._

* * *

Phoenix put down his burger and sighed. "Why are we here again? It's not like the case got any further than it did yesterday, and we certainly didn't win."

Maya ignored him. "Woah, I got an orange Evil ExerGon! And it's ID code is…7777777."

They both stared at each other for a moment, then Maya started to clap her hands obnoxiously. "OH HO HO HO HO, WRIGHTO MY BOY!" Phoenix reached over and threw the figurine away.

"Hey, Nick! That was special, it could have been worth a million dollars or something!"

"Who would want a Gant figurine, Maya, honestly?"

"I would!"

"I can't believe _God- _I mean _Larry_- was the second one of us to get a date. I mean, Gumshoe, okay, he's a nice guy. But _Larry_?!"

"It's not nice to talk about people right in front of their faces, man," Larry mumbled through a mouthful of fries.

"Sorry, Larry. Next time I'll remember to talk about you behind your back."

Larry compensated himself by stealthily relieving Nick of a couple hundred dollars.

"Man…I really hope we actually make some progress in court tomorrow."

"I don't! This is the most fun we've ever had on a case!"

"Don't say that, Maya, please don't say that."


End file.
